i beat the computer at mahjong with a "sap sam yew"

I was bored at the office the other day, my project was overdue. My boss doesn't care if I can't do it ontime.

So I randomly Google-d for something interesting to do and I found this nice online mahjong website. I thought it was pretty cool. I mean, this is real mahjong, the 4-player kind. Not that stupid "gwailo" mahjong solitaire.

On that note, Google. Please stop registering those stupid solitaire mahjong games as mahjong. I mean, it's pretty fucked up. You Googled for mahjong, at it returns like couple of hundred sites ask you to play or download those stupid solitaire mahjong games.

Enough with that shit. Back to the main event. So I found this site which offers mahjong games, that any asshole like me could register for free.

I registered, logged in. Played a game with the bots (the downside of that site, only registered players get to play with other players. The free users, need to play with the computer). But hey, doesn't matter, I was just wasting my youth there anyways.

So I played, a couple of games. Lo and behold, I managed to beat the computer with the "sap sam yew" hand, which is like the rarest and hardest combination of winning hand in the history of mahjong. Take a look:


13 yew


If you are interested in playing this game for free, please surf to: Mahjong Time. Have fun kicking the computer's ass.

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i want a mercedes too, because proton perdana sucks


proton perdana sucks


No Oil Royalty Used To Purchase 14 Mercedes E200 Official Cars, Says MB

Written by St Low

Monday, 21 July 2008

KUALA TERENGGANU, July 20 (Bernama) -- No oil royalty was used to purchase 14 Mercedes E200 Kompressors at RM3.43 million as official cars for Terengganu executive councillors and senior state government officials, according to Menteri Besar Datuk Ahmad Said. In defending the state government's decision to purchase the expensive cars to replace the Proton Perdana V6 Executive cars for the same official use, he said it was meant to save cost in the long run as the maintenance of the Proton Perdana cars was too high.

If it's not coming from oil money, maybe it's from tax money. Nice. That makes me feel a whole lot better. My hard earned tax money being used to furnish government officials with a sweet ass ride. This is just fucking great.

What about spending some of that money reduce poverty or provide better education for everyone? Welfare seems like a good idea. Reducing the burden of the people when it comes to subsidies like toll, petrol, power and utilities, seems like a good idea. According to Wikipedia, the per capita income is around RM 2075.00. It might look like a lot of money there, but let's try and break it down.

Utilities bill (water, electricity, telecom): RM 200
Rental/House loan: RM 800
Food: RM 1200 (300 per person, average family size in Malaysia, is around 4)
Transport: RM 500

That's almost RM 2500 already. That doesn't include stuff like cable TV, broadband services and such.

What about how much we are paying for education in Malaysia (eventhough I still think we have one of the cheapest education in the world, government funded ones anyways)?

I stumbled upon this website while I was look for some budgetry information for my work the other day. Maybe the cost of education is cheap, but the cost of sending your kids to school is a nightmare.

Did you know, with RM 3.43 million, we can afford to buy:

And that's just the tip of it.


"We are not saying that the national car is not good, but the reality is that in less than two years of use, the cars had to be repaired due to faulty components like the gear box.

"We are not saying that the national car is not good"? Fuck off! You are saying exactly that. But nothing to be embarassed about. I say it all the time. But these people are saying it in the wrong fucking context.

"For example, the car used by the Trade, Industry and Environment Committee chairman Toh Chin Yaw had been repaired twice costing RM50,000. But the Merdeces cars, although expensive to purchase, will incur us less maintenance cost in the long term," he explained.

Let's see. Cost of a Proton Perdana (as off today is RM 101485.05). With 3.43 million, you can buy around 34 units of Proton Perdana. Even if it breaks down after a year or 2. You can still replace them with new Perdana's and it would still be cheaper than getting a Mercedes.

Ahmad was asked by reporters about the reported purchase of the Mercedes cars, after attending a 'tahlil' function held in conjunction with the birthday of the Terengganu Sultan, Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin, at Istana Maziah here, Sunday.

The function was also attended by Terengganu Regency Advisory Council member Tengku Sri Laksamana Raja Tengku Sulaiman Sultan Ismail Nasiruddin Shah, state executive councillors and state assemblymen.

Ahmad said the purchase of the Mercedes E200 cars was financed by a sum allocated earlier by the state government and not by oil royalty.

"How could we use the oil royalty when we have not even received it from the federal government?" he said.

-- BERNAMA

I have lost faith in 'ye. Thank god, I live in KL where my politicians waste my money by taking helicopter rides instead of driving Perdana cars. It's way more economical. Right.

That's just fucking great.

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top 10 most annoying alarm clocks

I got this email from Alissa. Pretty amazing inventions. But I think they can do better. I've decided to add my two cents to each of these alarm clocks.


#10 - Climbing clock . It hangs above your head and starts climbing while it rings. Don't wake up fast enough, and you won't be able to shut it up without a ladder.
annoying alarm clock


It's just stupid that you have to get a ladder just to shut off you stupid alarm clock (that's the idea, I know). But here's what I suggest.


# 9 Wake Up Puzzle . You have to build the puzzle to make it stop
annoying alarm clock


Instead of making it a 4-piece puzzle, try making it into like a 100-piece jigsaw puzzle. That way, when you set your alarm clock at 6:30am, your internal biological alarm clock will tell you that you need to be up by 6:15am. Because you don't want to be listening to that stupid alarm blaring at you when you wake up and start putting that 100 piece of puzzle together.


# 8 Wake or Curse . You can ask it what the time is and it will answer. But if you don't wake up quickly enough it will curse you.
annoying alarm clock


I want this! But to make it more annoying, you should put the voice of your mom or wife or girlfriend nagging at you. Come on, I listen to profanity everyday. I dish out a fair share of cursing every day. So people cursing at me, is like Mozart to my ears. But what I find annoying is people nagging me. That would wake me the fuck up, immediately. Imagine your mom shouting at you to get you to school. Your girlfriend asking you, if you've left the toilet seat up again. I'd be annoyed to the infinite-th degree.


# 7 High Tech . This one has a vibrator, 95 db alarm and police style rotating light that you cannot ignore.
annoying alarm clock


I like the law enforcement theme. I'd still like to stick with this theme. So what I would do is change it to prison settings. Instead of a vibrator, I'd install electric wiring under the bed, sort of like electric fence. So when it rings, it sort of sends tiny, electric current surging through my body. Instead of the police style rotating lights, I'd just install spotlights. 300-watt spotlights, like the ones they use in the guard towers. When the alarm is set off, the spotlights are automatically switch on, and shines over the bed. It's gonna be hard to stay in bed with a shitload of lights shining on you.

# 6 Find The Pin - You need find the right pin to stop it's ringing. Not going to stay sleepy after this mission.
annoying alarm clock


Looks like a underwater mine. Imagine, you stick this into a pool of water above your head (just need to find a way to hang an aquarium above your bed). When the alarm rings, it sets off the mine, and blows a shitload of water onto you. Surefire way to wake up.

# 5 Chicken and Egg Problem - The egg laying alarm clock. It will only quiet down after you put all the eggs back.
annoying alarm clock


This is just sick. The egg comes out of the chicken and you stick it back in the same hole? That's like plastic animal cruelty, giving the chicken an egg enema. Sick.

# 4 GI Joe . You will wake to the sound of your commander's wake up call. Don't mess with it.
annoying alarm clock


I'd love to get my hands on this one. I'd load it up with quotes from Full Metal Jacket, specifically from this character called Gunnery Sargent Hartman. Here are some of his famous quotes:


"Are you quitting on me? Well, are you? Then quit, you slimy fucking walrus-looking piece of shit! Get the fuck off of my obstacle! Get the fuck down off of my obstacle! NOW! MOVE IT! I'm going to rip your balls off, so you cannot contaminate the rest of the world! I will motivate you, Private Pyle, IF IT SHORT-DICKS EVERY CANNIBAL ON THE CONGO!"

"Today, you people are no longer maggots. Today, you are Marines. You're part of a brotherhood. From now on until the day you die, wherever you are, every Marine is your brother. Most of you will go to Vietnam. Some of you will not come back. But always remember this: Marines die. That's what were here for. But the Marine Corp lives forever. And that means YOU live forever."

"If you ladies leave my island, if you survive recruit training, you will be a weapon. You will be a minister of death praying for war. But until that day you are pukes. You are the lowest form of life on Earth. You are not even human, fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grabastic pieces of amphibian shit. Because I am hard you will not like me. But the more you hate me the more you will learn. I am hard but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless. And my orders are to weed out all non-hackers who do not pack the gear to serve in my beloved Corps. Do you maggots understand that?"

"Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy fucking godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will PT you all until you fucking die. I'll PT you until your assholes are sucking buttermilk."

"The deadliest weapon in the world is a marine and his rifle. It is your killer instinct which must be harnessed if you expect to survive in combat. Your rifle is only a tool. It is a hard heart that kills. If your killer instincts are not clean and strong you will hesitate at the moment of truth. You will not kill. You will become dead marines and then you will be in a world of shit because marines are not allowed to die without permission. Do you maggots understand"

"Bullshit. It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress."

"Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut! "

"What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?"

"You Goddamn communist heathen, you had best sound off that you love the Virgin Mary, or I'm gonna stomp your guts out! Now you DO love the Virgin Mary, don't ya?"

# 3 Floating Around - Will float around the room until you'll catch it.
annoying alarm clock


Change it hot air balloon. When it inflates to the max, it explodes. Bye bye, money.

# 2 Kaboom - This acoustic grenade will wake the neighborhood with it's ultra loud sound level.
annoying alarm clock


Make sure you toss the pin out the window when you set it the night before. That way, you'll know you will need to wake up.

# 1 Hide and Seek - The winner is the hide and seek alarm clock. Once it begins to ring it falls down to the floor and finds a random place to hide. Chase it down or else you're doomed.
annoying alarm clock


Alternatively, just hang your alarm clock on your dog's flea collar. When it rings, it will just freak out your dog, and it will start running amok around your house. You'd have to chase your dog just to shut it down.

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petrol, its worth more than a damn diamond ring


wedding proposal with petrol

Protesters target Malaysian fuel price hike


KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) — Malaysia's government faced street demonstrations and public outrage Thursday over its decision to hike petrol prices 41 percent overnight, in a bid to curb its massive subsidies bill.


petrol_heads1

petrol_heads4

Is it me or is the opposition people always around during this kind of things.

petrol_heads2

We Malaysians are cheap bastards. Or we're just damn careful with our money.

petrol_heads3

This is fucking hilarious. Petrol station running out of petrol.

petrol_heads5

Dude: This shit is fuckin expensive.

(Source:AFP)


Opposition groups held protests in downtown Kuala Lumpur and in the northern city of Ipoh, putting further pressure on Prime Minister Abdullah Ahmad Badawi who is fighting to keep his job after disastrous March elections.

And he pulled this shit on us after fucking up in the elections? Sure, his excuse "everyone else is doing it, why shouldn't we". And the Indians too.

"The effect is going to be a tremendous burden to people, especially the poor," said Democratic Action Party lawmaker Teresa Kok, one of about 100 people at the Kuala Lumpur rally.

Hell yeah. About a quarter of KL-ites are living in poverty to be exact. A family of four, living in squatters with less than RM500 income. Of course, there is the argument that if you can't afford the petrol, you shouldn't be driving. But that's sort of the intention of the government ain't it.

Think about it. The government imposes high taxes on imported cars. People can't afford fuel efficient and environmentally friendly hybrid cars. The government is forcing everyone to buy our stupid Proton cars because they make any non-Proton car damn expensive to own.

Everyone else is shouting "AFTA, AFTA", and yet we are the only one prolonging this. If every country in the region has agreed to do this, why the fuck aren't we? We are the only ones saying, "sure free trade's just great, as long as I can delay mine". Who in their fucking right mind would want to trade with us if we don't do the same for them. We want free trade from them but we don't offer them the sale deal? WTF?


Police officers and riot squads armed with batons and shields dispersed the crowd, which waved banners reading "Petrol is hiked but salaries are not".

This is a stupid reason for a riot. "Petrol is hiked by salaries are not"? Blame your fucking employers. If your boss is not giving you a salary adjustment for this, seems pretty unfair to blame the government. You should be blaming your boss. Maybe you also should be blaming yourself. Stop taking tea-breaks in the middle of day. Stop taking 3 hour lunches.

Organisers said more than 100 people attended the Ipoh rally and that more demonstrations are planned for the coming weeks.

Home Minister Syed Hamid Albar, though, criticised the "illegal" demonstrations and urged the public not to "over-react" to the price hikes.

In other words, chill out. Its inevitable. Can't expect the government not to raise petrol prices if everywhere around the world is raising theirs. It's the energy crisis fercrissakes.

But the sad part in all this is, if we are one of the top producers of petroleum in the world, why the fuck are we paying through our sphincters for petrol? Shouldn't we cater to our own people first before exporting this shit elsewhere? The government always advocate to "buy Malaysian product". Isn't petrol a Malaysian product? Why is it that, we export this shit overseas, then buy it back at a premium price? Why couldn't they sell it to us, Malaysians first, and if there's extra, sell it overseas. Basic economics ain't it?

"It is not a political issue but a national issue that we all need to try and tackle together, regarding the rise of oil and energy prices at the global level," he told reporters.

Yeah, yeah. Heard that before. *Yawn*

The new pump price for petrol will be 2.70 ringgit (0.84 dollars) and 2.58 ringgit for diesel. Petrol previously cost 1.92 ringgit, among the cheapest in Asia.

Other Asian countries don't export petrol.

Abdullah's announcement on Wednesday evening triggered chaos across the country as motorists swamped fuel stations to fill up before the measure took effect, bringing traffic to a standstill in Kuala Lumpur.

Stuck in a fucking traffic jam on my way home from work. Fuck!

The premier indicated that further increases were in the pipeline as Malaysia moves to completely abandon fuel price controls that would have cost 17.4 billion dollars this year -- about a third of the national budget.

If this is 1/3 of our national budget, where the fuck did the 2/3 go?

Motorists who turned up at petrol stations Thursday to pay sharply higher prices to fill their tanks were furious over the decision.

"We can do nothing about this government increase -- we have to buy fuel, otherwise how can we go to work?" said 56-year-old engineer K. Letchumanan.

I feel you, K. Letchumanan. Our fucking public transport is so fucking unreliable. Take the public bus for instance. There's a schedule. But the fucking drivers don't give a fuck about the schedule. How many of us has sat on the fucking bus stand for an hour waiting for a bus that is supposed to be there every 15 minutes?

Or let's say that we somehow manage to get on a bus. Fuck. Have you seen the fucking bus fatality rates these days? Every week, without fail. Some fucking bus driver will plow the stupid bus into a ditch killing some sorry ass passenger(s). Taking a bus is like strapping time bomb with a mercury fuse on your chest. No fucking way.

OK. What about the LRT system. Fuck that shit. That fucker breaks down more than an antique steam engine. You can't rely on that to get to work on time. If it dies, you can kiss your job goodbye. The fucking LRT will people probably take like 2 hours to fix that stupid problem. And most people will know, when you are stuck underground somewhere, you mobile basically has no signal. Most of the time, you can't call your boss and tell him you are stuck in the fucking tunnel.

Aminah Rahmat, a 46-year-old streetside vendor who had set up her food stall outside a petrol station, said she could already barely manage on her monthly income of less than 1,000 ringgit (300 dollars).

Why isn't she arrested? Tell me, how the hell could someone just open a roadside stall on the street just like that. It's not a lemonade stand. Don't they need some sort of permit for this?

"The government does not care for our welfare, that is why they have made such a huge fuel increase," she said.

"How can I afford to pay so much to transport my cooked food to my customers? I will go out of business."

You are wrong. The government cares about businesses. These business are called Petronas and Proton.


Bus operators said that a third of companies may have to close down and lorry firms said their rates would have to rise, in a move that will trickle down to higher prices for goods and services.

Go ahead. Close down. Buy more Protons. Then there are more cars on the street. When there are more cars in the streets, we get more traffic jams. When we are stuck in traffic jams, we use more petrol. When we use more petrol, the petrol companies make more money. And since there is demand for it, the price will never go down because there is no need for it. Nice move.

Abdullah is taking a major political risk in removing price controls as he attempts to recover from general elections that dealt the ruling coalition its worst results in half a century.

Nice way to get back on our good graces. Nice move by the ruling government indeed.

Rising prices of food and fuel were a major factor in the ballot, which has triggered repeated calls for the premier to stand down.

I would never ask him to stand down. All politicians are the same.

"It just shows Abdullah is incapable of leading the country," said senior ruling party lawmaker Mukhriz Mahathir, the son of former premier Mahathir Mohamad who has campaigned for the premier to quit.

Says the kid of the person who partially has a stake Proton and Petronas.

"He is not taking to heart the miseries that are being felt by the people when that should be something he tries to solve as a leader," Mukhriz told AFP.

Fuck off! Stop bitching and do something about it.

The stock market sank 2.4 percent as the central bank said the price hike could suppress economic growth and drive up inflation as high as 5.0 percent this year, from levels of 3.0 percent in April.

Inflation = 5%. Salary adjustment since I took the new job = 0%. Great. Just fucking great.

The ringgit currency sank, and government bonds plunged on expectations Bank Negara will raise interest rates to curb inflation, despite it stating there was no need yet for an increase.

Err.. ?? Yeah. Whatever he said.

But there was good news for Thais and Singaporeans who will now be allowed to buy fuel at border petrol stations after a recent ban was lifted in view of the subsidy cut.

Shit, we don't even have enough petrol here. Now we're sharing? WTF?

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necrophiliacs beware, we are on to you

morgue


Man admits desecrating corpse of 92-year-old
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
BY RUSSELL BEN-ALI
Star-Ledger Staff

A lab technician accused of sexually abusing the corpse of a 92-year-old woman inside a Teaneck hospital morgue pleaded guilty yesterday to desecration of human remains.

Kidding, right? Did someone dare him to do it or something? Jeez. It's bad enough that he's fucking a corpse, he had to choose an old wrinkly corpse? What, there aren't any young corpse for you to violate, you sick fuck? This fucker has some serious Norman Bates issues, coupled with some sexually depraved geriatric tendencies.


Anthony Merino, 25, of Manhattan faces up to seven years in prison when he is sentenced for the second-degree crime on July 11. But under a complicated plea agreement negotiated between his attorney, Savyon Grant, and the Bergen County Prosecutor's Office, Merino could file a motion to have his sentence reconsidered and be placed on five years' probation after serving 11 months, 15 days in prison. The prosecutor's office agreed not to oppose the motion, if filed.

That's some Johnny Cochran shit right there. All he got for violating someone's dead grandma was a slap on the wrist? WTF?

What's written on everyone's tombstone epitaph is not entirely true, isn't it. There is no R.I.P. when you are dead. R.I.P only will happen when you are cremated or go six-feet under with your coffin sealed for good. You are still vulnerable to being violated even when you are dead. As long as you stay, above ground or not turned into ashes, you are in danger of getting violated by some sick fuck out there.

It's just sad to think about this. I mean, you've had to watch out for muggers, rapists, killers and any regular psychos for every fucking waking moment when you are alive. And when you are dead, you've got to watch out for necrophiliacs. Fuck! This shit never ends. And then, who knows, after a couple of hundreds of years later, someone might decide to dig into your grave and start doing some archaeological carbon dating on your remains. The probing begins. I mean, look what happens to the mummies in Egypt.

And since there's no law against necrophilia, any fucker could fuck you in the ass when you are lying in the morgue, without any fear of legal repercussions.


Merino was arrested Oct. 28 when a security guard observed him engaged in sexual activity with the body of the deceased woman inside a morgue at Holy Name Hospital in Teaneck. Merino was a newly employed, part-time lab tech at the hospital at the time.

Caught in the act by security guards? Maybe he wanted to get caught. Maybe it was part of the thrill. Maybe he was being adventurous that night. Maybe he was being extra kinky.

It's a part time job? What's his other job? Embalmer? Morgue attendant? Undertaker? Mortician?

I bet that sick fuck took the job because of the fringe benefit of being able to fuck all the corpse he wants, and get paid for it. I bet this fucker couldn't get girls in real life, he had to resort to fucking dead grandmas. Sick fucking loser.

At a hearing in Bergen County Superior Court yesterday, Merino admitted to the desecration.

Can he deny it? His cock was inside the corpse? His pants was down ain't it?

As part of his plea, Merino agreed to undergo a full psychological evaluation and will be prohibited from working at a hospital, morgue, cemetery or anywhere else where he could have access to human remains.

He shouldn't even allowed to be near dying people. He might kill them just because he wanted to have sex with their corpse.

And the psychological evaluation? Probably wouldn't work. Did it do wonders for Hannibal Lector?


Merino previously turned over his laptop computer to authorities for use in his psychological evaluation and to help determine his therapeutic needs.

I bet they would have found tons of zombie pictures in this laptop.

The desecration of human re mains is not a Megan's Law offense, and Merino will not be required to register as a sex offender.

Of course. The world blows!

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star wars rap


lando rapper

OMG, as I was Google-ing for something, which I forgot what it was, this morning, I happened to stumble upon this. Star Wars Rap. It's fucking hilarious. Do check it out.




Another version.



Of course, for those who are less hip, there is a Andrew Lloyd Webber type of musical for you.



Or for those like myself that get amused by stupid silly little things like monkeys scratching their butt, here's one with Yoda doing some breakdancing.



And of course, I've always had a gripe with Lucas for excluding this Dark Jedi character from both the new and old Star Wars trilogy.



Maybe the force be with you.

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relay for life

I promised my friend Effie that I'm going to post this activity of hers on my blog. So here it is.


National Cancer Society Malaysia has organised an activity "Relay For Life" from 6pm on 31 May 08 to 10am on 1 June 08 at MSN Training Stadium Bukit Jalil.

"Relay For Life is a fun, outdoor and overnight fundraising event where teams of 10 to 15 people take turns to walk around a local oval.The event honours those whose lives have been touched by cancer.Celebrate life and create hope by joining your friends, family, cancer survivors and their carers in the common goal of defeating cancer."

Please visit the below websites for more info if you would like to know more:


http://www.relayforlife.org/relay/
http://www.relay.cancercouncil.com.au/about.html

For those who are interested please fill up the form as attached, we can either join as a group or you can form your own group with your friends.
Indeed, you may join as volunteer too.

Before I forget, I've uploaded the form to Rapidshare here

I think it's a worthy cause. Please show your support, if possible. Thanks a bunch.

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chinese traditions, paper wastage

This stupid thought came to me the other day. I was 'celebrating' Qing Ming Festival with my family and I've noticed something. Has anyone ever thought of how much paper we waste every year, doing this kind of thing. I mean, this has to stop.

This is a stupid tradition. I mean, food offerings are one thing. I mean, you eat 'em after you finish with the prayers. But burning a life size Papier-mâché Mercedes-Benz complete with a driver inside (the driver's made of paper of course, we're not savages) is just fucking stupid. Look at the pictures I took below.


ching ming 01
ching ming 02
ching ming 03

Fuck! Some of those paper offering are not even burnt. They are scattered all over the fucking cemetery. Think of the trees people. The world is becoming barren because people are just cutting down the trees for this stupid reason. The paper is not being used for anything. Fuck! So much work put into producing color papers that you just burn at the end. It's not even recycled.

And here are some facts that I found on Wikipedia, on recycling paper:

Forest preservation
Today, 90% of paper pulp is made of wood. Paper production accounts for about 43% of harvested wood, and represents 1.2% of the world's total economic output. Recycling of newsprint saves about 1 tonne of wood while recycling 1 tonne (1.1 ton) of printing or copier paper saves slightly more than 2 tonnes of wood. This is because kraft pulping requires twice as much wood since it removes lignin to produce higher quality fibers than mechanical pulping processes. Relating tonnes of paper recycled to the number of trees not cut is meaningless, since tree size varies tremendously and is the major factor in how much paper can be made from how many trees. Trees raised specifically for pulp production account for 16% of world pulp production, old growth forests 9% and second- and third- and more generation forests account for the balance. Most pulp mill operators practice reforestation to ensure a continuing supply of trees. The Forest Stewardship Council (FSC) certifies paper made from trees harvested according to guidelines meant to ensure good forestry practices. It has been estimated that recycling half the world’s paper would avoid the harvesting of 20 million acres (80,000 km²) of forestland.


Energy
Energy consumption is reduced by recycling, although there is some debate concerning the actual energy savings realized. The EIA claims a 40% reduction in energy when paper is recycled versus paper made with unrecycled pulp. while the Bureau of International Recycling, BIR, claims a 64% reduction. Some calculations show that recycling one ton of newspaper saves about 4,000 KWh of electricity, although this may be too high (see comments below on unrecycled pulp). This is enough electricity to power a 3-bedroom European house for an entire year, or enough energy to heat and air-condition the average North American home for almost six months. Recycling paper to make pulp may actually consume more fossil fuels than making new pulp via the kraft process, however, since these mills generate all of their energy from burning waste wood (bark, roots) and byproduct lignin. Pulp mills producing new mechanical pulp use large amounts of energy; a very rough estimate of the electrical energy needed is 10,000 megajoules (MJ) per tonne of pulp (2500 kW·h per short ton), usually from hydroelectric generating plants. Recycling mills purchase most of their energy from local power companies, and since recycling mills tend to be in urban areas, it is likely that the electricity is generated by burning fossil fuels.


Landfill use
About 35% of municipal solid waste (before recycling) by weight is paper and paper products. Recycling 1 tonne of newspaper eliminates 3 cubic meters of landfill. Incineration of waste paper is usually preferable to landfilling since useful energy is generated. Organic materials, including paper, decompose in landfills, albeit sometimes slowly, releasing methane, a potent greenhouse gas. Many larger landfills now collect this methane for use as a biogas fuel. In highly urbanized areas, such as the northeastern US and most of Europe, land suitable for landfills is scarce and must be used carefully{citation needed}. Fortunately, it is in such areas that collection of waste paper is also most efficient.


Water and air pollution
The US EPA has found that recycling causes 35% less water pollution and 74% less air pollution.Pulp mills can be sources of both air and water pollution, especially if they are producing bleached pulp. Modern mills produce considerably less pollution than those of a few decades ago. Recycling paper decreases the demand for virgin pulp and thus reduces the overall amount of air and water pollution associated with paper manufacture. Recycled pulp can be bleached with the same chemicals used to bleach virgin pulp, but hydrogen peroxide and sodium hydrosulfite are the most common bleaching agents. Recycled pulp, or paper made from it, is known as PCF (process chlorine free) if no chlorine-containing compounds were used in the recycling process. However it should be noted that recycling mills may have polluting by-products, such as sludge. De-inking at Cross Pointe's Miami, Ohio mill results in sludge weighing 22% of the weight of wastepaper recycled.



Think of all the people resources being put into producing these color papers. The same people who work on printing these color paper can be working on printing books. At least books teach you something. Even printing Playboy magazines bring you pleasure of looking at naked plastic women.

So people, I'm boycotting this festival once and for all. ONCE AND FOR ALL. And I'm going to start campaigning (I'm no activist but I'm definitely gonna tell my mom and aunts to burn less "prayer paper") against this paper thing next year. I'm definitely for the "more food, less paper offerings" way.

If you are Chinese and your observe this tradition. Stop the insanity.


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virginity for sale?


virgin mary gets paid


Loss of virginity: Woman files suit against hubby
The Borneo Post
by Jong Yee Ling

KUCHING: A school teacher has brought a civil suit against her husband claiming for a few million ringgit damages over the loss of her virginity.

Did he drop it somewhere or was it misplaced?
Husband:Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that hole in the pocket stitched. Now it's costing me fucking 3 million ringgit. Shit!

The plaintiff, about 30 years old, from Kuching, is bringing an action against her businessman husband (the first defendant), father-in-law (second defendant), and the mother-in-law (third defendant), all from Serian.

Now the husband's probably thinking "Was it me, or was it mom or dad who loss her virginity. I knew I should have turned back to the diner the other day when I sensed that something was missing on my way back. Fuck!"

It was said that the writ of summons as well as the statement of claims had been served on all three defendants.

Of course it's the first. Who in their right fucking mind would ever sue someone over this? Geez, he sweet talked you into getting in your panties. Is that crime? You were stupid enough to get con into it. Don't blame the guy. Blame yourself for picking an asshole.

What? Is this going to set some precedent to a future where women can sue men over everything? Fuck, I better get a lawyer. I think I might have accidentally grazed a girl on the thigh once when I was commuting via public transport. Does that mean she can sue me, over taking the her thigh virginity? Some women might have pressed their butt on mine while being stuck in a packed monorail. Should I be getting a lawyer and start suing the fucking women in the train and the fucking monorail company for making the damn monorail so small that people would have to press against each other?

She made a claim (from the husband) for the loss of her virginity, ‘loss of damage for humiliation’ and mental torture including harm suffered.

What humiliation? The humiliation where you got conned into giving "it" up? This is fucking bullshit. If it was consentual sex then it was fair game. You gave in, he gave it to you. Pure and simple. You can't give it and take it back, and call him a fucking asshole. He lied. Yet you got suckered into it. Do you think you are the first? Big deal, get over it. If you knew he was gonna be an asshole and you slept with him, it's your fucking fault. Not his. "Don't hate the playa, hate the game, baby".

And this "mental torture" thing, I bet you kept thinking that you gave it up too early. If you were gonna use this virginity thing as a leverage to pressure the guy into fucking marrying you, all I can say is "you are a fucking idiot". It was just a stupid move on your end. If I were you, I would have held onto the virginity so tight like a fucking fat kid with a chocolate chip sundae. "Vault it" like Colonel Sanders with the KFC "11 herbs and spices" recipe. Noone's touching the "poontang" before the nuptials.

It wasn't as if he gave your herpes or AID or something. That's a whole different argument altogether.

In addition, she was also asking for the Kancil car given to her as a gift (out of a promise) to be returned.

Kancil? Woman, if you were gonna sue, ask for his car. Why settle for a stupid Kancil?

It was reported that the vehicle, which was registered under the name of another woman, was taken back by the defendant.

Ah, the plot thickens. There is another woman. Someone definitely got played. This woman who's suing the husband is sounding more like a fucking moron every minute. She might be a 3rd person in a fucking confused triangle relationship and she got the sharp end of the shalf..literally after getting "shaft" from they guy.

Represented by Counsel Ernest Chua, the claimant is also seeking for any other reliefs as the court deems fit and proper to the suit.

Fucking laywers. They can practically sue people over anything.

She was still a university student when sometime in 2006 she met a man (now her husband) slightly younger than her.

Stupid, stupid. She got played by a younger guy. Stupid, stupid. She an educated university student to boot.

After a few months of courtship, they decided to become husband and wife in the future.

Getting hitched after a few months of dating? You've got to be kidding me? I mean come on. The guy's probably never had "it" before. And he got hooked to the first piece of ass he's had. Now he's regretting it. He's thinking, "hey there might be other vaginas out there. Why am I limiting myself to one piece of ass for the rest of my life? Plenty of ass to tap."


It was said that they had spent a night together at a hotel here.

Classy. At least it was a hotel. Not some sleezy motel. That would really suck. Pretty fucking rich for college students. Most people just do it in their dorm rooms. He's probably got a busybody for a roommate. The old "sock over the handle" trick didn't work. He came into the room anyways.

The plaintiff claimed that it was her first sexual experience with a man and she had surrendered her virginity to him that night upon the promise that the first defendant would be responsible for his act and marry her.

Husband: Baby, it's only you. I swear it's only you. I only want to commit to you, forever and ever. There will be noone else. When we get married, I'm signing over the car and house to you. I will do all the laundry. I will even do all the fucking cooking and the dishes. I will breastfeed our child. I will never ask you for a BJ but I will give you ... everytime you want it. You are my world. You complete me. I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl asking her to love him. OK enough sweet talk. Let's fuck!
Wife: Will you marry me after I give it up?
Husband: Yes honey. I love you (keeping fingers crossed). You are my everything. I will kill my parents for you (both my parents are dead anyways). Slay the fiercest dragon (they don't exist anymore, why not?). Swim across the deepest ocean (when I'm on vacation with my secretary). Let's fuck!
Wife: Awww..! So sweet!
Husband: Yeah, yeah. Let's fuck.

*Cue any Isaac Hayes songs.

She even disclosed to the first defendant before he registered their marriage that due to a surgical operation before she would not be able to conceive a child.

As they were having sex, and the husband is on the brink of an orgasm.

Wife: I'm infertile. I can't have kid. I'm as barren as a Sahara wasteland in the mid of summer.
Husband: OK, OK, ohhh (concentrating on cumming)
Wife:: Are you OK with this?
Husband: (grunting, on the brink of exploding) Yes, yes, yes, .. I'm cumming. Ahhhhhhgghh! (a few seconds later)
Wife: I'm glad that you are fine with it.
Husband: Huh? (puzzled). Yeah. You were great, honey. Now, can you hand me the tissue?

The man allegedly broke his promise a few months ago (despite the fact that they had registered as husband and wife at the end of last year but without going through the Chinese ceremony).

They signed the papers. It's official. Dumb and dumber!

It was also claimed that problems began to arise since the end of last year because the husband’s parents had interfered with the relationship.

Do I hear, "MAMA's BOY! MAMA's BOY!"

The plaintiff was told by the parents that she would not be accepted as part of the family.

Dad: Son, are you sure you want to settle with one pussy your whole life? You can't even decide what's your favorite breakfast. You got sick playing with your PS2 within a week, and they have thousands of games.
Mom: Son, she's not good enough for you. No fucking infertile whore is good enough for our family.

According to the plaintiff, the parents had also made baseless accusations against her.

Mom: I heard from the fish monger from the market, who heard it from his 3rd cousin from his mother side, who heard it from her chiropractor, who heard it from on the internet chatroom, that she used to be a hermaphrodite.

Feeling that she had been deceived and misrepresented, she filed her case in the High Court.

It was learned that apart from the civil suit, there is a possibility of criminal proceeding against the first defendant.

Looks like, she gots to be paid! She's got money on her mind, and her mind on the money.

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rosie o'donell has a "mini me"

Lazy Saturday afternoon. It's raining outside. I'm sick as a dog, if indeed dogs are sick all the time. I don't know why people say sick as a dog. Well anyways, I am truly sick. But not the fatal kind, of course. If it was, I'd probably be at the hospital by now, fuck the blogging (Ah, blasphemy, I know). Let's just say, I'm suffering from something that causes me to "output at both ends, whenever I input". Nuff said.

So, me being stuck at home now, naturally, I would most definitely catchup on my DVD backlogs. And the movie that I'm watching is, wait for it, "Elizabeth: The Golden Age". I know, who would have thought. As cynical and depressing as I am, I can appreciate a good artsy movie now and then.

Overall, pretty damn good movie. I can definitely see why Cate Blanchett got nominated for an Oscar for playing the role of Elizabeth twice. But she lost out both times. Fuck.

Anyways, as I was watching the 2nd Elizabeth movie, I've noticed something very funny in the movie. In one scene, the Queen, played by Cate Blanchett had a midget sitting on her throne, like what a 'Mini Me' would do. And I couldn't help notice that that midget, mini person, looked exactly like a miniature Rosie O'Donell. Take a gander.

rosie o donell mini me

What do you think?

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i am a nursemaid

I found this Flash personality quiz today. Pretty interesting.

Try this:

personality quiz

(click here to play the game on a new window)


Basically, what it does is, it asks you to answer a bunch of "this or that" type of questions and it will somehow pop up with an analysis of what kind of person you are.

I am a fucking Nursemaid, in other words, I'm a pushover. Which sucks balls because it's basically saying I'm everyone's bitch. The explanation of my personality sort of sums me up as someone who prances around the meadow singing tunes from "The sound of music".

Which, if you guys read my blog, know I definitely am not Julie Andrews.

No fair, do over.

Do share your results with me. I'm curious, what kind of sick people read my blog.

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world's oldest person is in malaysia, not israel nor america

kickin it old school


This is something interesting I accidentally stumbled upon the other day. Fuck all the claims around the world claiming that they have world's oldest living person. I can tell you this is bullshit. Malaysia oddly enough have the world's oldest living people. Note that I said people not person. Because, it's not only one person. There's like a bunch of them.

How did I know this? My friend, whom I've decided not to name, sent me an email about this nifty online application used by the Malaysian Elections Commission. Basically, what this online application does is, that you enter your National Registration Identification Card (NRIC)number into the application, and it checks whether you are a registered voter and if you are, it basically tells you where you can cast your vote for the upcoming Malaysian 12th General Election. Pretty cool, right?

And because our NRIC number comes in a particular format, anyone with a random number generator can key in a particular sequence of number in to the website application (but adhering to the above format), it will just "spit" some information about that person.

So, someone, with a lot of time on their hands, did exactly that and found that there are a shitload of people with who are over 100 years old.

Some of the sequence of numbers that they tested were:


951114750015 950531710079 940407750023 941121750057 801018775059 800311086231 811028045577 830416610017 841207065917 851222740019 850513106435 851117106729 850802106378 850916086838 860320145365 861101105077 860208145701 860320145357 861217145011 860126145839 871205740015 870914105781 870418105790 871016146308 881231100432 881103750027 880505066047 880906087033 881030136332 891102740096 891129740088 890520610089 890112146416 890920076065 890403615016 910609755079 920622710069 890211050014


And they found a bunch of people who are born around 1180 through 1895, which would make them 113-128 years old.

Neat right?

Here's how to do it:

1. Click on the following link: http://daftarj.spr.gov.my/daftarbi.asp

2. Follow the picture:

malaysian elections commision e-application
(Click to enlarge)



That is so cool.

What makes it even cooler is that we are only discovering this so close to the General Election. I'm thinking, how the hell are these people able to lift their asses of the bed to go and vote this weekend. Even if these people are able to get there, will they be able to hold onto the marker and put a big X next to the ticket.

But truthfully, the whole point of this post is not really to expose to the world that we have a shitload of over a century year old geriatrics still running around, which I highly doubt it. Our people don't eat healthy food and we don't exercise. We die in our 80s.

What it's really about is, there might be a big possibility of a bug in your Elections Commissions computer system and how they are not doing anything about it. If these non-existent geriatrics are indeed a bug in the system, doesn't that compromise the integrity of the system?

If these so called 100-year old phantoms don't really exist in the real world, can someone manipulate that information and thus negating the whole democratic process of a fair election?

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mom made daughter an internet porn star


mom and daughter, cash cow


Mother Accused In Porn Case Involving Daughter
Mother Arrested

POSTED: 8:19 pm CST February 21, 2008
UPDATED: 8:54 pm CST February 22, 2008

OMAHA, Neb. -- An Omaha-area mother is wanted by police on allegations child abuse and three child pornography charges after she allegedly posted child pornography on Web sites featuring images of her teenage daughter.

All I can say is "WHAT THE FUCK". What kind of fucking parents would do this kind of thing to their kids? What is the fucking world coming to? What are we, animals? What's next, eating the young? Infanticide?


The Douglas County attorney filed charges against the 49-year-old woman on Thursday. Omaha police had a warrant for her arrest. She was arrested late Friday afternoon.

The woman's teenage daughter discovered photos of herself online in December 2006, while doing a Google search of her own name.

So, the daughter's also one of those lame ass vain people who like Googling themselves over the internet. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing. I'm one of those lame-ass people myself.

According to the Pew Internet & American Life Project (Dec 2007 report),

Who knew. So many people have a similar interest. I mean, you can't be too sure these days, with rampant use of Photoshop and other "el-cheapo" digital manipulation softwares that are easily available for everyone to download (both legally and illegally); putting someone's face on a baboon's ass could be as easy as doing a simple "select, point and click".

I'm not ashamed to admit it. I've done it.

What! Don't judge me, dammit.

The court affidavit said the girl discovered photos of her face morphed onto naked bodies in sexually explicit positions. The girl also said she found photos of her mother engaging in sex acts.

At least the mom did both their pictures as solo acts.

You know what's sicker than that? The mom photoshop-ed the daughter and her having incestuous sex. Ack! Sick sick sick! Unless the mom's a MILF, wait, no. NO NO NO! Erase bad thoughts. Sick sick sick!

By the way, if you are interested in learning how to Photoshop your face, or someone else's face onto a another body, here's how to do it. Pretty useful trick to learn if you've decided to do online dating and your "date" asks for a recent photo of yourself.

"It's disgusting because you think, who would ever do this to somebody? But then you find out it's your mom," said the girl, who's identified only as "Shannon."

Is it more acceptable if it's your boyfriend who did it? If you've answered yes to the question above, give Edison Chen a call. (Fuck, you got me EDC. There is no escaping you. I wanted to be above everyone-he he, who am I kidding-and not do any post on your naked gf pics, *sigh* oh well)

Shannon said she was 15 and 16 years old when the photos were taken.

Geez, couldn't mom have waited another year. I'm pretty sure by the time she's reached the consensual sex age, the punishment handed out would be less severe. Stupid cunt (bad word, kids)!

She said she recalled her mother talking pictures of her from many different angles when she visited the home of her mother and the mother's boyfriend. Shannon said she was never photographed nude.

Shannon: So I guess that's why mom was so into taking a picture of me in the toilet.

Shannon told her father about the Web site, and together they contacted police.

"My daughter brought it to my attention that she had found photographs of her mother and more importantly of herself on the Internet--nude, graphic photos. The images of her mother appear to be valid, real photos. The images of herself are not of her body; they are of her face," said Shannon's father, James, who's divorced from the mother.

You know what? I'm willing to bet (bet willing, pay up, no) a few months later, we are going to find out that mom didn't really Photoshop lil Shannon's picture and posted them onto the internet. I'm thinking those innocent looking pics might turn out to be real. I'm guessing maybe, mom and her boyfriend didn't want to pay Shannon for the nudie pics, or wasn't paying her enough, she decided to rat on her mom.

The affidavit said investigators contacted the Web site administrator and he was able to give police detailed e-mails from the suspect instructing him to post the photos.

Wait a fucking minute here. There's a website administrator? Isn't it this guys job to look at the porn and determine that they have someone underage on the porn site? Noone validates shit like this? What kind of sick fuck runs a website that allows people to post pictures of girls looking like a teenager and not even bother checking their ages first. Geez!

"There's an outstanding warrant for her arrest. We've filed a complaint charging her with child abuse as well as certain sub-sections under the child porn laws," said Steve Gabrial, deputy Douglas County attorney.

What child abuse?

The woman is charged with child abuse and child pornography charges because she allegedly placed her own child in a situation where she could be sexually exploited.

It's not like she's selling a service. Come on. Just because you see a naked girl on the net, doesn't mean that you can fuck her! You might think about it, but it's not like you are going to do it.

I'm not saying that she's right in posting altered nudie pics of her daughter online but how is that child abuse? How does one sexually exploit a picture? An altered picture nonetheless. Did mom posted lil Shannon's contact information on the website?

"How can you drive your daughter home, smile, and tell her you love her, when you're doing that to her? I don't understand it," said Shannon.

Mom: I love you so much that I've decided to share your picture with all those porno freaks, losers out there. I love you, so much. As much as a cash cow!

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valentine's day post


love sucks

I've decided that since I have nothing good to say about this day, I'm going to just shut up and not say anything bad about it at all and ruin everyone's Valentine's day.

Instead of straightforward tribute that people usually post in their blog for Valentine's day, I've decided I am going to post a video instead. As cynical as I am towards life as a whole, I am an incredible sucker when it comes to romantic comedies. I just love 'em. Love em.

So I've decided to post this video from one of my favorite movie of all time, featuring Julia Stiles (she's not pretty, but I dig her, A LOT), and the late Heath Ledger. Amazing poem by Julia Stiles' character, one of my favorite poems about love.

Here goes:



And the poem goes:

I hate the way you talk to me
and the way you cut your hair.

I hate the way you drive my car;

I hate it when you stare.

I hate your big dumb combat boots
and the way you read my mind.

I hate you so much it makes me sick.
It even makes me rhyme.

I hate it -- I hate the way you're always right;

I hate it when you lie.

I hate it when you make me laugh;
even worse when you make me cry.

I hate it when you're not around
and the fact that you didn't call.

But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you --
not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.

I consider this one of the best romantic teen comedies of all time. I strongly recommend that you watch, but of course not today. If you have someone, you should be out and not reading this. If you don't, lock yourself up in your room and wallow in self pity like the rest of us, single people.

So, I'm going to wish everyone a HAPPY VALENTINES DAY. And if you are a loser like myself, HAPPY SINGLE AWARENESS DAY. Know this, you are not alone.

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happy chinese new year 2008?


CNY Rat

Chinese New Year is around the corner. Very close corners. It's in two days to be exact. So I've decided to do the cliché thing and do a post on Chinese New Year, same thing I did with X'mas.

So here are some facts about Chinese New Year that you might not have heard of, some which were swiped from Wikipedia:

As with many traditional believes, there are some dos and don'ts for Chinese New Year that everyone will need to know. Here they are:


And finally, since most Chinese people can't take 15 days off for Chinese New Year, my friend, Evelyn sent me a "Auspicious Day To Start Work" calendar, that I assumed was "spammed" to her by some of her friends. Basically, it outlines the best days to resume work after you Chinese New Year break based on your zodiac (if you don't know what your Chinese Zodiac is, please look it up here. Remember, you can't base your zodiac on your year of birth because your zodiac year is based on the lunar calendar, not the Gregorian calendar).

auspicious day to start work 2008
(Click to enlarge)


I forgot to mention, 2008 is the "Year of the Rat". So I want to wish all my readers a wealthy, healthy and a prosperous Mickey Mouse year. See you next year.

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