britney spears new sex tape

Saw this gem of an article today on Monsters And Critics, just thought I'd share this with everyone:

Britney Spears was filmed having sex with a stranger she met on vacation, it has been claimed.

The 28-year-old unnamed man met the 'Toxic' singer while holidaying in Hawaii last June and secretly recorded them having sex in a bungalow at the Four Seasons hotel on the Kona-Kohala Coast.

Oh Britney, how low can you go? How does someone go from shagging gay popstar (yes, I mean you Timberlake) to wannabe wigger K-Fed to this? What's next, hooking up with someone you meet at rehab, wait, scratch that, you did that too. What the fuck are you thinking?

What's with the name Toxic anyways? How 80's cliche can this guy go? Hey, the American Gladiators called, they want their cheesy name back.

He claims he has not sold the tape yet because he is embarrassed by his own performance.

Beer Dick! Beer Dick! Beer Dick! Someone's probably suffering from erectile dysfunction. Viagra would help, but he's too busy setting up the "secret" camera.

As to why he hasn't sold the tape, timing. Britney's no longer the "it-girl". He's just waiting for her comeback before it's going to be worth something. Let me say pal, I think it's going to be a long wait. At the mean time, I'm guessing he's probably showed it to all his friends .. can't blame the guy, boinking a fat Britney is better than boinking a fat nobody.

The man told In Touch Weekly magazine: "It was just normal, we didn't do anything crazy. It was a little disappointing. It lasted for about 25 minutes and then we passed out."

He claims he met Britney, 25, in a bar at 1am on June 7 2007 and they went back to her room to "party" before "hooking up".

All the time he's fucking her, he's probably thinking "Why couldn't I boink the hot Britney instead of this fat slab of lard, why god why?" Let's get this over with so that I can sell the sex tape. Hmmm, maybe that explains the whole limp dick thing.

Meanwhile, the singer's close friend Sam Lufti has revealed she is "very optimistic" of getting her children back.

Britney - who was ordered by a judge to hand over sons, two-year-old Sean Preston and one-year-old Jayden James, to ex-husband Kevin Federline on Monday (01.10.07) - now has her legal affairs in order ahead of today's custody hearing (03.10.07).

Lufti told People magazine: "Kevin's custody is only temporary.

K-Fed: Ka..chinng! Time to get paid for child support. That will go into my 2nd album!

"We signed all the necessary documents that she needed to get done and Britney is in a good mood, no problems, very optimistic.

Britney, you can start by not boinking guys named Toxic.

"Scheduling conflicts and errors in communication led her to believe that her deadline was later this week rather than Monday."

The California Department of Motor Vehicles also revealed yesterday (02.10.07) that Britney has been issued an interim driving licence.

Mike Marando of the DMV said: "She has fulfilled her requirements for a California driver's licence. She took and passed a written test in April. She will be issued a formal licence in the mail soon."

Last month, the singer was charged with misdemeanour driving without a valid California licence and hit-and-run after she hit another vehicle in a car park on August 6 and left the scene of the accident.

I think this is what they are talking about.

Los Angeles Superior Court Commissioner Scott M. Gordon, who is overseeing her custody case, ordered her to prove she was a legal driver.

I say send her to jail. It will do wonders for her. Look at what happened to Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie. Both went in as spoiled bitches, came out all "changed". Paris became nice wanting to change the world, for like, a week, and Nicole Ritchie is no longer anorexic.

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