malaysian in space, what a joke

On Strait Times today:


Malaysia's first astronaut heads to space
Occasion for pride... ...or waste of money?
By Hazlin Hassan, Malaysia Correspondent

KUALA LUMPUR - WHILE some Malaysians are excited as the country's first astronaut prepares to blast into space today, others see the trip as a waste of money.
There are those who hope that Dr Sheikh Muszaphar Shukor will be the first in a line of Malaysian astronauts. But some see him as a space tourist squandering US$25 million (S$37 million) of public money.

Well, duh! There are plenty of ways the government can spend my hard earned tax money.

Consider the facts (according to the 2007 factsheet by the Asian Development Bank):



Based on Wikipedia, there are approximately 27 million people living in Malaysia as off June 2007.

Which according to my calculations, approximately 540,000 people in Malaysia are surviving with only less than $1 a day. In what universe can a person survive with less than $1 a day. OK let's talk about food, what kind of food can you buy with $1? Maybe a nasi lemak, but how the fuck are these people going to eat only one pack of nasi lemak the whole day. And they're going to eat that same nasi lemak everyday for their entire life? (I know this is sort of an extreme depiction of this situation, I'm pretty sure they can also get economy mihun for $1 too) Imagine that. Don't even get me started about shelter.

Literacy rate is at 88.7%, which also means, 3 million people can't read. That's almost twice the population of Kuala Lumpur. That's 3 million people who can't recognize money from the numbers printed on it. To these people, they probably recognize money based on color. Which also means, they are totally screwed if they are both illiterate and color blind. How about this? If they can't read, how will you learn math? If they don't know math, how the fuck would they know if the nasi lemak seller's giving them the correct change?

These people might as well take off their pants, raise their asses to the air and hold on to their ankles, cause' they're fucked!

Just because the government is more interested in sending some stupid schmuck to space than feeding them or teaching them to read.


The critics have seized on Nasa's description of the part-time model as a 'space flight participant', suggesting he is merely along for the ride, although Kuala Lumpur has been quick to point out that Russia's space agency has recognised him as a cosmonaut.

NASA refused to acknowledge this asswipe Dr. Sheikh as an astronaut. I don't too. So what? If the government says he is one, he is one. Who are we to disagree with the government?

I decided to "google" the NASA site the other day to find out a little bit more about the flight crew (check it out). This is something interesting that I noticed. Everyone on the crew has some sort of interview or brief biography written about them on the page, or some sort of external link to another page about them. Our so-called Malaysian astronaut has only a two liner, no link, no nothing. Hmmm, what does that say about the guy?


Dr Muszaphar, who beat 11,274 other candidates to win his place on the Russian Soyuz-FG rocket, will use his 12-day trip to study the effects of microgravity and space radiation on cells and microbes. He will also be conducting experiments with proteins for a potential HIV vaccine.

He said: 'I promise to make Malaysia proud. That is a promise I plan to keep.'

Holy shit, this fucker must be a goddamn genius. HIV's been around for like 20 fucking years and noone's really found a cure, he's going to make a difference in 10 days.

All these, and he still finds time to do a "teh tarik" and play "batu seremban" (TheStar, Nov 16, 2006)

I salute your Dr Sheikh!


The doctor is scheduled to arrive at the International Space Station (ISS), in orbit 333km from Earth, on Friday.

Meanwhile, government-organised launch parties and activities are being held across Malaysia today, and there will be a live telecast of the blast-off from Kazakhstan.

There was a party at my office lobby last nite..whoop-dee-doo. There were like at least 50 tables, I think maybe only 5 were occupied.


Prime Minister Abdullah Badawi will watch the event from the Kuala Lumpur Convention Centre along with 280 school students.

Datuk Seri Abdullah will hold a tele- conference with Dr Muszaphar on Sunday as well, the Utusan Malaysia daily reported yesterday.

The Education Ministry has selected six students who will travel to Russia and chat live by satellite with Dr Muszaphar during his mission.

Another one of my tax dollars well spent.


Criticism of the cost of the trip has led to officials avoiding any mention of it, other than to say it is part of a US$900 million defence deal struck with Moscow in 2003 to buy 18 Sukhoi Su-30 MKM fighter jets.

No really...he's really really an astronaut. The Ruskies say so.


The director of the national astronaut programme, Col Dr Zulkeffeli Mat Jusoh, said in July that most Malaysians thought the programme was a waste of money.

Well, duh, again.

'A recent survey revealed that they still think it's a waste of time and money, and that we're just going to undertake a little science project when our astronaut is sent into space,' he was quoted as saying in The Star newspaper.

He said 'nothing could be further from the truth', as the first angkasawan - Malay for astronaut - will carry out serious experiments.

Yes, finding cure for AIDS and making "teh tarik" and playing "batu seremban".


Today, with the Russian rocket adorned with a Malaysian flag and coat of arms, it would seem that ordinary Malaysians are mainly feeling pride as they get caught up in the hype.

Nice patchwork..just like the "real astronauts" but with the Malaysian emblem. Did your mommy do it for you?


Self-employed Singham Muniandy told The New Straits Times: 'Thumbs up for the expedition. Even though the Americans call our men space flight participants, that is insignificant.

'What is important is that Malaysia is going to space.'

To find a cure for AIDS in TEN DAYS and make "teh tarik" and play "batu seremban".


And nine-year-old Taranjit Singh exclaimed: 'Wow! Space. The rocket will go up and up and a Malaysian will be in it. It is nice. I am happy and excited.'

Says the Power Rangers fan. Mommy, I pooped in my pants.

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