girl talk vs english

Girlspeak To English Dictionary
Kenneth M. Gibson

She saysEnglish
We needI want
It's your decisionThe correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you wantYou'll pay for this later
We need to talk I need to complain
Sure...go aheadI don't want you to.
I'm not upsetOf course I'm upset, you moron.
You' manly You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonightIs sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!I have PMS.
Be romantic, turn out the lights.I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient.I want a new house.
I want new curtainsand carpeting, furniture, wallpaper...
Hang the picture thereNo, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me?I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me?I did something today you're really not going to like...
I'll be ready in a minute.Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V
Is my butt fat?Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate.Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!?[Too late, your dead.]
I'm sorry.You'll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe?It's easy to fix, so you'd better get get used to it.
I'm not yelling!Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The same old thing.Nothing.
Everything.My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really.It's just that you're such a jerk.
I don't want to talk about it.Go away, I'm still building up evidence against you.

And at the risk of getting my balls of cut off by my female readers, here's my "Guy-Interpretation" of Girl Speak. If I see any woman coming near me with a knife in hand, I'm running.

She saysGuy interpretation
We need You need something, how long is this going to take, how much is this going to cost
It's your decisionIt's my decision, as long as it's the same as yours
Do what you wantI will just take it as "She's giving me the greenlight to do what I want". I know I might or will suffer later, but I will do it anyways
We need to talk You need to talk. I need to listen, and pretend that I am interested.
Sure...go aheadAgain, I will go ahead and do it , but prepared to suffer the consequences
I'm not upsetI know you are, I'm just thinking how much (time, money, and effort) will I be spending to fix this
You' manly You' manly
You're certainly attentive tonight.I want sex
I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting!Yes, you are. But I won't tell it to your face if I ever want to see you naked again
Be romantic, turn out the lights.I don't care. Sex is sex. Let's get it on.
This kitchen is so inconvenient. How much is this going to cost me, again.
I want new curtains Do we need new curtains?
Hang the picture therePick a spot, we don't care.
I heard a noise Go to sleep, we've got nothing valuable, I spent all my money on curtains and kitchen renovation.
Do you love me?Yes, for the umpteenth time, yes. Stop asking, unless you want us to tell you otherwise.
How much do you love me? As much as football and video games combined?
I'll be ready in a minute.Time to finish off level 3 on the new Tomb Raider game
Is my butt fat?If you have to ask, it probably is. But if I want to continue to have sex with you, I'd lie my ass off, or in this case your ass.
You have to learn to communicate. Periodic nodding doesn't count?
Are you listening to me!?Yes, unless I'm in the middle of a video game, movie or a sports match.
Yes Maybe
MaybeI know it means No, but will feign ignorance later.
I'm sorry.Something is wrong. You are never sorry.
Do you like this recipe? Food is food. I'm happy as long as I don't have to cook it. Just make sure it's warm.
I'm not yelling! Yes, you are, and I better show some sort of response(positive or negative) if I expect makeup sex later.

Ever wonder why women love to talk so much and men don't listen? Someone actually did a research on this. Turns out we are born this way. It's a scientific truth.

Check out this article on the Daily Mail titled "Women talk three times as much as men", if you want more details on this subject.

Too bad I can't really quote this research to any female friend because I'm pretty freaking sure that they will refute this. Why? Because they will argue that I'm probably as talkative as them. Which, I think, could be true.

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