malaysian idiot arrested for attempted bribery

Source: Yahoo! News

Malaysian arrested for needless bribe
Wed Oct 31, 8:37 PM ET

A Malaysian man apparently fearing he had too much to drink tried to play it safe by bribing a policeman to avoid a breath analyzer test. It turned out he passed the test, but was fined for bribery.

Aw Cheng Fatt offered a police officer 50 ringgit ($15) after his car was stopped at a police check point for drunk driving three years ago, The Star reported Wednesday.

The alcohol screening test showed the man's blood level was in fact within the permissible limit.

However, Aw wound up getting arrested for corruption and was fined 1,000 ringgit ($300) in court Tuesday, the report said.

Court and police officials could not immediately be reached to confirm the report.

Holy crap. This loser has got to be the either the dumbest or the unluckiest person in Malaysia. As I was stopping myself from "LMAOROTL", I'm thinking, if I know anyone who's every been caught for attempting bribery. None on my count.

Does he not know the fucking etiquette of proper bribery? Geez. And don't ask me if I've done it myself. I will not admit to anything. and I'm "pleading the fifth" on this subject, on the grounds that it might incriminate me for any past and future crime that I might or might not have committed.

So let's say .. in a hypothetical sense of course, I were to attempt, not that I would in real life, bribery, here's what I would do. I follow the golden rule of bribery.


If the other party ("bribe-e") did not insinuate in anyway, be a man and accept the fucking fine with a smile, and be on your way. You can alway plea bargain with the police officer to reduce the fine when you go and pay it off at the police station later.

Not all cops are corrupted. Some cops are genuinely there to help uphold the law. I want to believe that there are some decent cops out there who are really here to help you, John Q Citizen.

But whatever it is, just don't fucking do the crime if you can't do the time. Don't drink and drive. Don't bribe the fucking police. Just don't.

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