working with idiots can kill you, scientific fact

idiot outside

The West Virginia Blogger had a very interesting entry to his blog titled A PSA from WVb which shows a newspaper clipping about how "working with idiots can kill you".

Very interesting article. Why?

And so she did. She found 500 of them.

I used to work in customer service as a phone technical support rep for a major computer company. That takes the whole stress level thing up a notch. Not only you have to deal with stupid people all the time, you'd have to be nice about it too, and doing it on the phone. Normally, if you think your colleague was being an idiot, you just tell them to "fuck off" but when you are in customer service, you can't do that to a customer. You see, telling a customer to "fuck off" is grounds for termination, a big NO-NO in a customer service world. Even if you are not fired, you'd probably spend a great deal of time in your supervisor's office getting your ass chewed off.

So, here are a few of my personal favorites (mind you, these are the days of Win98/ME and Win2K, just to give you a feel of what I'm dealing with):

Wireless 56K Dial-Up
Customer: I can't connect to the internet. Optus have checked my phone lines and the internet people have assured me that I have set up my windows to connect correctly.
Me: Well, that's good. Have you ever connected before?
CustomerNo, that's what I'm saying. I've never actually been able to connect with this bloody machine. I know there's nothing wrong with the phone lines because my telephone company assured me it's fine. They came and checked on it personally.
Me: OK. Take a look at the back of your computer. Make sure that the phone line is plugged into the modem.
Customer: Phone line?
Me: Yes, phone line. The one that goes into your home phone. You need to connect that to your computer's modem, the green color jack at the back of your computer unit.
Customer: I have only one phone line. If I plugged it into the computer will my phone ring?
Me: No
Customer: Well, if my phone can't ring, how would anyone call me?
Me: Well, if you want to get connected to the internet, you need to connect your phone line into the modem at the back of your computer.
Customer: Well that's just great. If I'm online, I can't receive calls. What's the use of the internet connection then?
Me: I don't know. I guess you can either choose to go online or receive calls. Or get another line just for your internet.
Customer: I'm not going to pay for another line. Do I really need to plug it into the computer? Can't I do both? Maybe another way. Without plugging it in maybe.
Me: I'm sorry sir, wireless 56K dialup isn't invented yet. (I was getting pissed at this moment)
Customer: Well, that's just fucking great. (Hangs up)
Me: Fuck!

The Laurel and Hardy Routine
Customer: I need to install window..I think I have a virus problem.
Me: Sir, your windows is already installed. Do you mean an antivirus program?
Customer: No, I mean Window. My friend told me Windows will "clean" the virus.
Me: Sir, I assure you that Windows doesnt' do that. Here's what you do, look for the Application CD that came with your should be labeled Application CD version 1.0. We'll reinstall your antivirus program.

(Then you hear some rustling sound, as if the customer is looking for the CDs ... )

Customer: Windows 98 CD?
Me: Application CD 1.0
Customer: Microsoft Office?
Me: No, Application CD.
Customer: System CD 4.0?
Me: No. Application CD. It's white colored and labeled Application CD 1.0.
Customer: Microsoft Encarta 4.0?
Me: No. Please look for Application CD.
Customer: Application CD?
Me: Yes, that's the one. Now, pop that into the CD-ROM drive on your computer.
Customer: I don't have a CD-ROM drive. I have a DVD-ROM drive.
Me: OK, push the button on your DVD-ROM drive and eject the tray. Then put the CD onto the tray.
Customer: I can't.
Me: Why not?
Customer: My computer's at home. I'm at the office now. Do I need to sit in front of my computer to do this?
Me: (Of course not, we can do this telepathically). Err.. yes.
Customer: Well, I'll be damned. (hangs up)

The Absentee Operator
Customer: Hi, I'm looking to buy a Nokia 8100, can you tell me what are the specifications?
Me: I'm sorry sir, but I think that you might have dialed the wrong number. This is the technical support line for xxx computers.
Customer: Can you transfer me?
Me: Sir, it's a different company. I can't do that. I don't have their number.
Customer: (angrily) Well, thanks for nothing. (slams the phone down).
Me: Stupid fuck.

I'm pretty sure anyone's who ever in a customer service line would have met idiots like this and I would say these are the days when you lose all hope for humanity. It's one of those days that you think, what kind of world do we live in where people can't even use their brain to think productively. Do they wake up and decide, hmm..let me bring half of my brain to work and maybe screw up some shmuck's life by fucking up my part of the job?

Fuck! Charles Darwin was so damn wrong. Survival is not for the fittest. The fittest are dead because they have to deal with nincompoops on a daily basis. All there is left in the world are idiots. They will rule the world. Disagree? Look at who are your politicians.

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