virginity for sale?

virgin mary gets paid

Loss of virginity: Woman files suit against hubby
The Borneo Post
by Jong Yee Ling

KUCHING: A school teacher has brought a civil suit against her husband claiming for a few million ringgit damages over the loss of her virginity.

Did he drop it somewhere or was it misplaced?
Husband:Dammit, I knew I should have gotten that hole in the pocket stitched. Now it's costing me fucking 3 million ringgit. Shit!

The plaintiff, about 30 years old, from Kuching, is bringing an action against her businessman husband (the first defendant), father-in-law (second defendant), and the mother-in-law (third defendant), all from Serian.

Now the husband's probably thinking "Was it me, or was it mom or dad who loss her virginity. I knew I should have turned back to the diner the other day when I sensed that something was missing on my way back. Fuck!"

It was said that the writ of summons as well as the statement of claims had been served on all three defendants.

Of course it's the first. Who in their right fucking mind would ever sue someone over this? Geez, he sweet talked you into getting in your panties. Is that crime? You were stupid enough to get con into it. Don't blame the guy. Blame yourself for picking an asshole.

What? Is this going to set some precedent to a future where women can sue men over everything? Fuck, I better get a lawyer. I think I might have accidentally grazed a girl on the thigh once when I was commuting via public transport. Does that mean she can sue me, over taking the her thigh virginity? Some women might have pressed their butt on mine while being stuck in a packed monorail. Should I be getting a lawyer and start suing the fucking women in the train and the fucking monorail company for making the damn monorail so small that people would have to press against each other?

She made a claim (from the husband) for the loss of her virginity, ‘loss of damage for humiliation’ and mental torture including harm suffered.

What humiliation? The humiliation where you got conned into giving "it" up? This is fucking bullshit. If it was consentual sex then it was fair game. You gave in, he gave it to you. Pure and simple. You can't give it and take it back, and call him a fucking asshole. He lied. Yet you got suckered into it. Do you think you are the first? Big deal, get over it. If you knew he was gonna be an asshole and you slept with him, it's your fucking fault. Not his. "Don't hate the playa, hate the game, baby".

And this "mental torture" thing, I bet you kept thinking that you gave it up too early. If you were gonna use this virginity thing as a leverage to pressure the guy into fucking marrying you, all I can say is "you are a fucking idiot". It was just a stupid move on your end. If I were you, I would have held onto the virginity so tight like a fucking fat kid with a chocolate chip sundae. "Vault it" like Colonel Sanders with the KFC "11 herbs and spices" recipe. Noone's touching the "poontang" before the nuptials.

It wasn't as if he gave your herpes or AID or something. That's a whole different argument altogether.

In addition, she was also asking for the Kancil car given to her as a gift (out of a promise) to be returned.

Kancil? Woman, if you were gonna sue, ask for his car. Why settle for a stupid Kancil?

It was reported that the vehicle, which was registered under the name of another woman, was taken back by the defendant.

Ah, the plot thickens. There is another woman. Someone definitely got played. This woman who's suing the husband is sounding more like a fucking moron every minute. She might be a 3rd person in a fucking confused triangle relationship and she got the sharp end of the shalf..literally after getting "shaft" from they guy.

Represented by Counsel Ernest Chua, the claimant is also seeking for any other reliefs as the court deems fit and proper to the suit.

Fucking laywers. They can practically sue people over anything.

She was still a university student when sometime in 2006 she met a man (now her husband) slightly younger than her.

Stupid, stupid. She got played by a younger guy. Stupid, stupid. She an educated university student to boot.

After a few months of courtship, they decided to become husband and wife in the future.

Getting hitched after a few months of dating? You've got to be kidding me? I mean come on. The guy's probably never had "it" before. And he got hooked to the first piece of ass he's had. Now he's regretting it. He's thinking, "hey there might be other vaginas out there. Why am I limiting myself to one piece of ass for the rest of my life? Plenty of ass to tap."

It was said that they had spent a night together at a hotel here.

Classy. At least it was a hotel. Not some sleezy motel. That would really suck. Pretty fucking rich for college students. Most people just do it in their dorm rooms. He's probably got a busybody for a roommate. The old "sock over the handle" trick didn't work. He came into the room anyways.

The plaintiff claimed that it was her first sexual experience with a man and she had surrendered her virginity to him that night upon the promise that the first defendant would be responsible for his act and marry her.

Husband: Baby, it's only you. I swear it's only you. I only want to commit to you, forever and ever. There will be noone else. When we get married, I'm signing over the car and house to you. I will do all the laundry. I will even do all the fucking cooking and the dishes. I will breastfeed our child. I will never ask you for a BJ but I will give you ... everytime you want it. You are my world. You complete me. I'm just a guy standing in front of a girl asking her to love him. OK enough sweet talk. Let's fuck!
Wife: Will you marry me after I give it up?
Husband: Yes honey. I love you (keeping fingers crossed). You are my everything. I will kill my parents for you (both my parents are dead anyways). Slay the fiercest dragon (they don't exist anymore, why not?). Swim across the deepest ocean (when I'm on vacation with my secretary). Let's fuck!
Wife: Awww..! So sweet!
Husband: Yeah, yeah. Let's fuck.

*Cue any Isaac Hayes songs.

She even disclosed to the first defendant before he registered their marriage that due to a surgical operation before she would not be able to conceive a child.

As they were having sex, and the husband is on the brink of an orgasm.

Wife: I'm infertile. I can't have kid. I'm as barren as a Sahara wasteland in the mid of summer.
Husband: OK, OK, ohhh (concentrating on cumming)
Wife:: Are you OK with this?
Husband: (grunting, on the brink of exploding) Yes, yes, yes, .. I'm cumming. Ahhhhhhgghh! (a few seconds later)
Wife: I'm glad that you are fine with it.
Husband: Huh? (puzzled). Yeah. You were great, honey. Now, can you hand me the tissue?

The man allegedly broke his promise a few months ago (despite the fact that they had registered as husband and wife at the end of last year but without going through the Chinese ceremony).

They signed the papers. It's official. Dumb and dumber!

It was also claimed that problems began to arise since the end of last year because the husband’s parents had interfered with the relationship.

Do I hear, "MAMA's BOY! MAMA's BOY!"

The plaintiff was told by the parents that she would not be accepted as part of the family.

Dad: Son, are you sure you want to settle with one pussy your whole life? You can't even decide what's your favorite breakfast. You got sick playing with your PS2 within a week, and they have thousands of games.
Mom: Son, she's not good enough for you. No fucking infertile whore is good enough for our family.

According to the plaintiff, the parents had also made baseless accusations against her.

Mom: I heard from the fish monger from the market, who heard it from his 3rd cousin from his mother side, who heard it from her chiropractor, who heard it from on the internet chatroom, that she used to be a hermaphrodite.

Feeling that she had been deceived and misrepresented, she filed her case in the High Court.

It was learned that apart from the civil suit, there is a possibility of criminal proceeding against the first defendant.

Looks like, she gots to be paid! She's got money on her mind, and her mind on the money.

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6:35:00 PM,

At Apr 14, 2008, 7:16:00 PM, Anonymous Haney said...

she's just plain dumbO lah! A wife and a husband is already legal. I can't believe that the court is entertaining this case.  

At Apr 15, 2008, 9:49:00 AM, Blogger mellowed blues said...

Sometimes, the court is too damn free. Crime-rate is low on that part of the country.

I don't get it too.  

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